Ok, so, are sesame seed buns some sort of rare and exciting culinary delight?

Are they the WHOLE reason this particular fast food sandwich is 99 cents versus just 4 cents?

Would people forgo the joy of a BigMac if there was no sesame seed bun?

"Sorry, we're out of sesame seed buns" Awwww MAN, FORGET IT THEN! fUCK!

Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a regular plain seedless bun.

I dunno, doesn't sound that different, right?

I was watching T.V. (let's all remember I don't have cable, shall we) and an ad for this new sandwich at KFC (that's hip urban rebranding lingo for Kentucky Fried Chicken for you old folks out there, but the Colonel is STILL in command, atten-tion!) which listed all the SCRUMPTUALICIOUS and ENTICING ingredients of these sandwiches and the final PIECE DE RESISTANCE is the ubiquitous sesame seed bun.

I mean that sandwich sounded RANK but I dunno, it DOES have a sesame seed bun.. Maybe I'll just buy it and only eat the bun. They are sooooo good.

Quite frankly, the only thing that sesame seeds on a bun have done for me is to fall off all over my business and piss me off. Or stick on my goddamn face somewhere's I can't feel and humiliate me in various social interactions.

I guess I just don't get it. Now a sesame bagel on the other hand... THAT'S a good time.

So, I just had the ultimate librarian victory.

I AM VICTORIOUS!

As some of you may know, I have been embarked on an on going shooshing campaign against the students in my library that don't get that a library is a 'quiet zone' and not a pool hall. Because, as we all know, kids these days are always hanging out in those pool halls causin' all sorts of trouble!

Right here in River City! Yes, that Trouble that starts with T and rhymes with P and stands for Pool!

Oh, ahem, sorry... Oh wait! That musical has a librarian in it.. HOW APPROPO!

Anyway, I digress!

So, I thought until this cold day in February of 2006 that all of my shooshing was in vain and had been falling on deaf ears as 'they' say.

MAIS NON!

Today, today I have found myself standing VICTORIOUS OVER THE CORPSES OF MY ENEMY!

Yes, today, I overheard on of the main loud talking offenders, a student who is completely unaware of how loud he/she (no they aren't post-op, I just don't want to EXPOSE anyone) is, say to their friend in a hushed tone AND I QUOTE! "shh.. library voice."

VICTORY IS MINE!

ooooh the sweet sweeeeeet victory..

I love it when I win.

I need a high five.. someone give me a high five!

Maybe this is just me and something I would think of..

But outside my window at work, there is a tree, all twiggy and bare from winter.

On this tree, on the tops of the twiggy branches is a gaggle of starlings sitting all fluffed up and puffy feathered one to a branch.

I have the VERY STRONG URGE to go out there and SQUEEZE THOSE STARLINGS.

The fluffy little feather nuggets. I WANNA SQUEEZE 'EM REAL BAD.

Ooooh yes.. here birdy bird.. come to the nice lady... I SQUEEZE YOU.

So, right, maybe that's just something I would think of...

Yeah, I just scratched my tit in public.

So sue me.

You get to scratch your balls all over the damn place..

At least I wasn't grabbing at my crotch.

Right?

I mean, it could be worse.

I have figured out the meaning of life.

I have.

Everybody needs a goddamn hobby.

Not just some like 'yeah I knit once and awhile and it's cool. I made some mittens last year' type of hobby, but like 'i'm going to kill myself if I can't get in there and do this because goddammit this thing that I do is more important to me than sex, food, and breathing'.

That kind of hobby.

Heretofore (that's a word, right?), I have spent most of my mental and emotional energy focused on personal relationships, or lack thereof. This was my 'hobby' if you will. But you see, these are things that one cannot control. And so goes my life, constantly agonizing over the actions or non-actions of others wondering if the pain and torture will ever stop. Wondering if anyone can and will fill the empty void inside of me. WHO CAN DO THIS? WHO?

And frankly, who the hell would want to. I wouldn't want to.. When I see people like me, desperate for the hole to be filled (and yes, I mean that literally and figuratively) I find them repellent. It's the ones that seem fancy free and whose holes seem filled that look good to me. But they, in the end, drive me crazy. Because they are not as desperate as me and therefore are not willing conspirators in the filling of my hole. Damn them.

I try to control them with my constant mind focusing powers of control (otherwise known as constant and incessant mind chatter surrounding all aspects of my relationship with them), but that doesn't always seem to work so good. Even when others are willing to try to fill the hole, let's all be real, it doesn't work so good then, either.

There's always something. Always.

What you and I and everyone needs is a hobby or passion or whatever that you can control. And that keeps you from the mind chatter. God help me, take away the mind chatter.

Something to be obsessed with that you can actually do something about.

Because controlling the future and other people with your mind thoughts doesn't seem to work. And believe me, I've tried.

Holy shit, I think I'm really onto something.

I'm gonna be the next buddha people, watch me work!

I think I might also get one of these.

Ok, I'm also really enjoying this.

I think I need to get a life.

So, the shooshing thing is getting a little out of hand.

I have become more and more comfortable doing it and doing it with RIGHTEOUSNESS but it's permeating my whole life now.

I was on the T (that's 'Boston' for 'subway') this morning, admittedly in a VERY TIRED semi-conscious state, with my eyes closed and I could hear someone's music playing from their headphones (goddamned i-pod headphones fucking SUCK, don't get me started!).

And god help me if I didn't *almost* turn to them and ask them to turn their music down because we can hear it.

Whoa.

I mean, I REALLY almost did it..

I'm thinking about just wearing this instead. Could I get ANY dorkier? Methinks, no.

Sometimes...

Sometimes it TRULY amazes me how many pedestrian and tiresome people there are in the world.

It's mind boggling.

And yes, I *am* one to judge.

Here's a stupid adjective: "fun-loving".

Oh really? You love fun?

How unusual and interesting.

I bet you also wear Sketchers.