NUMBER TWO IN A SERIES OF ADVICE FOR THE SINGLE MAN
Ok, while we just HAPPEN to be on this subject, here's another tip from me to you.
Whilst describing what you want in a potential mate, describe REAL PERSONALITY TRAITS.
Ok, like, well they should be funny, like dogs, be able to discuss how they feel about things, blahblahblah blah AND BLAH.
Here's some descriptors that have NOTHING TO DO WITH WHO SOMEONE IS. Ready?
1. Able to wear a little black dress and go out to a nice dinner
2. Conversely, also able to 'kick back with a beer' and wear jeans.
Let's stop for a moment. For some reason these two 'descriptors' have permeated the online dating cultural fabric as acceptable ways to describe your perfect mate.
Guess what? THEY'RE NOT.
WHAT THE FUCK! does being able to wear a nice dress and also being able to wear jeans have to do with someone's personality? WHAT? Someone tell me cuz' I'm starting to get pissed.
That describes, quite literally, 99.9% of the goddamn population.
So, if I am able to wear a black dress and get all gussied up, but can also go to a dive bar in jeans and a fucking baseball hat (frequent wearing of a baseball hat, by the way is the international signifier for 'a tool with no personality', but I won't go into it at this juncture..) then it's OK if I like to skin rabbits for a hobby in the bathroom?
Or that I'm into water sports and furries? But my furry costume has a black dress that goes with it! And jeans! With a tail hole!
Or that the ONLY movies I can stand watching have to have midgets in them?
Or maybe that, when screwing you, I'm going to have to ask that you wear this Darth Vader mask. It's the only way I can come.
BUT I GOT MY BLACK DRESS AND JEANS, SO LET'S PARTY HOTSHOT!
Ok, so you see what I'm getting at here?
NO body is that boring. They just aren't. If you have a goddamn personality, let's see it, cuz' it's going to come out sooner or later and at this stage in the game, why waste other people's time and yours. You know?
Ok, while we just HAPPEN to be on this subject, here's another tip from me to you.
Whilst describing what you want in a potential mate, describe REAL PERSONALITY TRAITS.
Ok, like, well they should be funny, like dogs, be able to discuss how they feel about things, blahblahblah blah AND BLAH.
Here's some descriptors that have NOTHING TO DO WITH WHO SOMEONE IS. Ready?
1. Able to wear a little black dress and go out to a nice dinner
2. Conversely, also able to 'kick back with a beer' and wear jeans.
Let's stop for a moment. For some reason these two 'descriptors' have permeated the online dating cultural fabric as acceptable ways to describe your perfect mate.
Guess what? THEY'RE NOT.
WHAT THE FUCK! does being able to wear a nice dress and also being able to wear jeans have to do with someone's personality? WHAT? Someone tell me cuz' I'm starting to get pissed.
That describes, quite literally, 99.9% of the goddamn population.
So, if I am able to wear a black dress and get all gussied up, but can also go to a dive bar in jeans and a fucking baseball hat (frequent wearing of a baseball hat, by the way is the international signifier for 'a tool with no personality', but I won't go into it at this juncture..) then it's OK if I like to skin rabbits for a hobby in the bathroom?
Or that I'm into water sports and furries? But my furry costume has a black dress that goes with it! And jeans! With a tail hole!
Or that the ONLY movies I can stand watching have to have midgets in them?
Or maybe that, when screwing you, I'm going to have to ask that you wear this Darth Vader mask. It's the only way I can come.
BUT I GOT MY BLACK DRESS AND JEANS, SO LET'S PARTY HOTSHOT!
Ok, so you see what I'm getting at here?
NO body is that boring. They just aren't. If you have a goddamn personality, let's see it, cuz' it's going to come out sooner or later and at this stage in the game, why waste other people's time and yours. You know?
posted by twicksie at
10:15 AM
