So last night, out to dinner with Jjohn, I 'scored' a free entree AND free desserts for both of us.
Nice! *Arm pump*! *High five*!
"Really, Twicksie?" You may be thinking, "I wonder how you did that? Because as you know there are only a very few circumstances that would provide for such an amazing and rich bounty of free goodness."
Yes, dear reader, you are correct.
Let's go over some of those circumstances and see if we can't get to the bottom of why I received such freebies, yes?
1. I knew the waiter/owner/bartender of the restaurant we were at. -- NO!
2. I had a gift certificate that I got for a holiday and/or birthday type of situation. -- SO COLD!
3. I had put my business card into the fishbowl and been the lucky winner of a free entree and dessert. -- EVEN COLDER!
4. I found a coupon for a free entree and dessert online somewhere and actually was cheezy enough to bring it to the restaurant. -- MAIS NON!
5. The waitress spilled a beverage all over me and/or my dining companion or some version of that scenario. -- WAAARMER..
6. The waitress, before actually presenting us with our food does something to it that makes it inedible and so let's us know that they will have to remake it. -- VERY WARM (this *did* actually happen, but I think that would have only provided us with the free desserts)
7. We finally DO get our meals, and whilst stuffing my linguine with meat sauce into my desperately hungry gullet, I spy with my little eye wee curly antennae. NO, not of a tiny radio, in my sauce, not THAT type of antennae.. no, no, and oh look! Little COCKROACH LEGS (attached to an actual cockroach - which was cooked, so hey! extra protein, right?) ALL CURLED UP AND DEAD IN MY GODDAMN FOOD. --- DING DING DING! HOTTER THAN HADES! WE HAVE A WINNER!
So, yes, dear readers, I was on my own 'very special' episode of Fear Factor last night, unbeknownst to me until it was almost too late.
Yes, I like to think it was ALMOST too late and that I did not actually EAT any cockroaches. I like to believe this and I think you'll grant me this denial out of the kindness of your hearts.
And so, I drank an EXTRA big helping of wine - to disinfect my stomach and mouthparts - and carefully ate my free tiramisu, checking for bugs the whole time and trying not to puke at the table.
It was, truly yucky.
However, the plus side is that I am no longer having flashbacks to the final day of the stool sampling - which was VERY rough... oooh so rough - and now I am having flashbacks to the roach in my food.
Slightly less disgusting, so I'll take it.
Enjoy your food!
Nice! *Arm pump*! *High five*!
"Really, Twicksie?" You may be thinking, "I wonder how you did that? Because as you know there are only a very few circumstances that would provide for such an amazing and rich bounty of free goodness."
Yes, dear reader, you are correct.
Let's go over some of those circumstances and see if we can't get to the bottom of why I received such freebies, yes?
1. I knew the waiter/owner/bartender of the restaurant we were at. -- NO!
2. I had a gift certificate that I got for a holiday and/or birthday type of situation. -- SO COLD!
3. I had put my business card into the fishbowl and been the lucky winner of a free entree and dessert. -- EVEN COLDER!
4. I found a coupon for a free entree and dessert online somewhere and actually was cheezy enough to bring it to the restaurant. -- MAIS NON!
5. The waitress spilled a beverage all over me and/or my dining companion or some version of that scenario. -- WAAARMER..
6. The waitress, before actually presenting us with our food does something to it that makes it inedible and so let's us know that they will have to remake it. -- VERY WARM (this *did* actually happen, but I think that would have only provided us with the free desserts)
7. We finally DO get our meals, and whilst stuffing my linguine with meat sauce into my desperately hungry gullet, I spy with my little eye wee curly antennae. NO, not of a tiny radio, in my sauce, not THAT type of antennae.. no, no, and oh look! Little COCKROACH LEGS (attached to an actual cockroach - which was cooked, so hey! extra protein, right?) ALL CURLED UP AND DEAD IN MY GODDAMN FOOD. --- DING DING DING! HOTTER THAN HADES! WE HAVE A WINNER!
So, yes, dear readers, I was on my own 'very special' episode of Fear Factor last night, unbeknownst to me until it was almost too late.
Yes, I like to think it was ALMOST too late and that I did not actually EAT any cockroaches. I like to believe this and I think you'll grant me this denial out of the kindness of your hearts.
And so, I drank an EXTRA big helping of wine - to disinfect my stomach and mouthparts - and carefully ate my free tiramisu, checking for bugs the whole time and trying not to puke at the table.
It was, truly yucky.
However, the plus side is that I am no longer having flashbacks to the final day of the stool sampling - which was VERY rough... oooh so rough - and now I am having flashbacks to the roach in my food.
Slightly less disgusting, so I'll take it.
Enjoy your food!
posted by twicksie at
12:52 PM
1 Comments:
What are you complaining about? We got dinner AND a show!
By
Anonymous, at 9:30 PM
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