Ok, so, a couple posts back, I refered to myself as a bitter dried up old hag.. which now I have actual documented proof of. If me writing a story of something that just happened to me counts as documented proof, but fuck it, I say it does!

Lord help me, I wish this weren't a true story.

So, (now remember this is hotel overshare, so don't get all squimish on me) I am pulling down my tights and underwear and hiking up my skirt and sitting on la toilet (that's FRENCH for the TOILET, I'm trying to be delicate here, I really am) and as I begin the squatting on the toilet sitting motion, a MOTH comes flying up from what seems to be my nether regions.

Ok, beyond the fact that it's disturbing that a moth seems to have found it's way into my nether regions (see? nothing but the most delicate of references, really..) and a moth is FUCKING INSECT, let's look at the more symbolic implications, want to?

So, places that are UNDISTURBED for LONG PERIODS OF TIME contain MOTHS. OLD CLOSETS (you can make the connection there, I'm sure) that LAY DORMANT for YEARS (again, let's connect the dots) and then are SUDDENLY DISTURBED CONTAIN MOTHS.

Get it? No? Let me break it down for you:

Basically, it is has been SO LONG since I'VE BEEN LAID, THERE ARE MOTHS FLYING OUT OF MY CROTCH.

I'm sorry, but there it is.

And now, because of this admission (which I'm sure will contribute to my ongoing superhero status (see previous post)) this trend of my CLOSET being UNDISTURBED will CONTINUE INDEFINITELY. Making a happy home for moths for years to come!

Happy holidays everyone!