So, I think... I think if I was a superhero my name would be:
THE ALIENATOR!
Overshares in a single sentence!
Can make even the most relaxed open person shut down and uncomfortable in seconds flat!
Makes whole rooms full of people squirm with anxiety in their seats with a swish of her hip!
Previously interested men run at the sound of her life's story!
She's the ALIENATOR!
Got a room full of fun loving happy people you just can't stand? Send in the ALIENATOR, she'll get the job done right!
**************************************
That reminds me of a little story:
I knew a guy in college who went to so many parties (it's true, he was at every single party I ever went to... he must be able to astrally project or something) that he would often times get bored. One time, he told me about a game he would play with himself (hey! minds out of the gutter people!) to 'spice things up' when a party was lagging. It's called "Let's clear out the kitchen!".
Basically, as you may know, at college parties, and at parties not in college, people tend to gather in the kitchen as a safe haven. This is for many reasons including the fact that it's generally where the alchohol is kept, thereby enabling the social lubrication of drinking. And also because the kitchen is a little bit outside the main party action, but still gets enough traffic that you can mix n' mingle, but at a kinder gentler pace. You can also huddle in a small grouping with your friends that you came to the party with and not deal with anyone else, but still say you went out that night.
But let's be real, shall we? It's cuz' that's where the alchohol is.
It's hard to drive people away from where the alchohol is at a party, but this guy, this guy had it down to a science.
He would go into the kitchen, and systematically chat up every single person that was there until they couldn't deal and had to flee the safe confines of the kitchen.
I'm not sure what he would say to them, although, one time, I watched him do it. I think he might of just bored them so much they couldn't stand it. Or maybe he would change his technique depending on his victim.
Little did they know that he would be timing how long it would take for them to excuse themselves and get the hell out of that kitchen. It was a sight to behold.
*************************************************
So, really, I am just playing "Let's clear out the kitchen!", where "kitchen" stands for "my whole life" and there is a silent "of all men that are even vaguely interested in me" at the end of the sentence. It's there, it's just not PRONOUNCED. Don't you just LOVE those silent sentence endings? It makes you wish more things were put into writing, don't it?
Welcome! Welcome to the world of the ALIENATOR!
I wonder what my outfit should be?
THE ALIENATOR!
Overshares in a single sentence!
Can make even the most relaxed open person shut down and uncomfortable in seconds flat!
Makes whole rooms full of people squirm with anxiety in their seats with a swish of her hip!
Previously interested men run at the sound of her life's story!
She's the ALIENATOR!
Got a room full of fun loving happy people you just can't stand? Send in the ALIENATOR, she'll get the job done right!
**************************************
That reminds me of a little story:
I knew a guy in college who went to so many parties (it's true, he was at every single party I ever went to... he must be able to astrally project or something) that he would often times get bored. One time, he told me about a game he would play with himself (hey! minds out of the gutter people!) to 'spice things up' when a party was lagging. It's called "Let's clear out the kitchen!".
Basically, as you may know, at college parties, and at parties not in college, people tend to gather in the kitchen as a safe haven. This is for many reasons including the fact that it's generally where the alchohol is kept, thereby enabling the social lubrication of drinking. And also because the kitchen is a little bit outside the main party action, but still gets enough traffic that you can mix n' mingle, but at a kinder gentler pace. You can also huddle in a small grouping with your friends that you came to the party with and not deal with anyone else, but still say you went out that night.
But let's be real, shall we? It's cuz' that's where the alchohol is.
It's hard to drive people away from where the alchohol is at a party, but this guy, this guy had it down to a science.
He would go into the kitchen, and systematically chat up every single person that was there until they couldn't deal and had to flee the safe confines of the kitchen.
I'm not sure what he would say to them, although, one time, I watched him do it. I think he might of just bored them so much they couldn't stand it. Or maybe he would change his technique depending on his victim.
Little did they know that he would be timing how long it would take for them to excuse themselves and get the hell out of that kitchen. It was a sight to behold.
*************************************************
So, really, I am just playing "Let's clear out the kitchen!", where "kitchen" stands for "my whole life" and there is a silent "of all men that are even vaguely interested in me" at the end of the sentence. It's there, it's just not PRONOUNCED. Don't you just LOVE those silent sentence endings? It makes you wish more things were put into writing, don't it?
Welcome! Welcome to the world of the ALIENATOR!
I wonder what my outfit should be?
posted by twicksie at
10:01 PM
