AN OPEN LETTER TO THE CRAZY WOMAN WITH THE MANY VARIOUS BAGS IN THE BATHROOM AT THE SUPERMARKET:

Dear Crazy Lady With the Many and Various Bags,

Please PLEASE remember to lock the bathroom door. Please. For I do not want to see you, for a brief flash of a moment, with your stockings down around you ankles, bending backwards over the toilet. No, I do not want to see you in this position.

Do you want me to see you in this position? No?

So then why not lock that door?

Yes, I heard you say "Whoops, guess the lock doesn't work well!" and yet, for during that brief flash of a moment when I opened the door and saw you in the aforementioned position, I also noted seeing an unused door latch.

Yes, I saw that. So, really, you did not lock the door, did you?

No, no, you didn't.

I think it would be in everyone's best interest if, next time, you took the time to do a little "forward thinking" and lock the fucking door. This way, you can take your sweet time sitting on the toilet, rifling through your many many and most various of bags, and contemplating how very crazy you are without any pesky and sudden interruptions. I truly think it will be the best for everyone involved.

Thank you very much for your consideration of this matter. It is my sincere hope, oh crazy one, that the lock 'works well' in the next supermarket bathroom you visit and you take full advantage of it's functionality.

Fondest Regards,
Twicksie